blog break explanation

So, I haven't spent the last couple weeks in an internet-deprived wasteland. What happened to me? Bear with me, I'm going at this one sideways...

Once when I was in high school, I came across my dad's performance review. Here's what it said in a nutshell:

"We really, really like Mr. Geologist because he cares way too much about this company and his duties. We do realize that we've put Mr. Geologist into an utterly thankless position with an absurd amount of responsibility. Our one negative criticism is that he's obviously going to work/worry himself to death over his job, and we don't actually want him to keel over because of it. Maybe he should relax a little and delegate more."

My dad waited until the offsprings' college bills were taken care of, then dramatically quit. He is now at the same age that my grandfather (same personality) died of a massive heart attack. We are all holding our breath.

I've mentioned before that we don't get along well. Certain facets of his personality drive me nuts, and I'm aware that some of the things that aggravate me the most are traits that I share. Like impatience, with myself and with other people. Like being unable to stop worrying, stop stressing out about things that are essentially out of my control.

The last month of work has been really hard. Even though I can't control what's going wrong, I can't help feeling responsible. I've been working long hours, coming home, reading garbage popcorn books to try and take my mind off work, and going to bed. Weekends, I sleep for hours and hours because I've built up a huge sleep deficit during the week. I haven't taken care of anything other than pressing bills, haven't gotten back to friends when they call.

Things are not looking up yet at work, but I've decided that I need to fight through this and not succumb to the temptation to become a hermit. Part of this is getting back into the habit of writing a post every day. We'll see how it goes...