Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sour Grapes

I mentioned a while ago that I didn’t have the best time as an undergrad. I was pretty lonely, and while I wasn’t bullied, I was excluded from a lot of stuff.

I got my alumni magazine the other day, and I immediately flipped to the “class round up” at the back. I found that several people who’d made my life unpleasant at college had gotten all sorts of advanced degrees and were advancing to positions of importance. They were also having all sorts of reunions with all their other best friends from school.

I’m happy where I am in life. I’m here because of a series of personal and professional decisions that were right for me, and I do not regret them. I like what I’m doing, and I have accepted the (relatively low) payscale of a scientist.

The alumni review magazine is bugging me more than I’d like to admit. There is a part of me that thinks, “but they were stupid and mean, so they shouldn’t be winning!” although I’m not competing with them in any rational sense. And why do I care so much about folks I haven’t interacted with in years?

This is taking up way more emotional space in my head than it deserves, I know. But it still bugs me a little.

2 comments:

CJR said...

Need to boast in alumni magazine == epic insecurity.

If you're happy with where you are, why compare yourself to people that you don't even like?

Em said...

Hi. I found your blog while doing a search for environmentally related blogs to read for a class project. I'm a grad student too, who also went to a SLA(U) and had an experience similar to yours, spent a few years working, and decided to give school another try. Also, I'm short. It's sort of eerie. Would you like to be online friends? I'm blogging at

http://nrem570.livejournal.com/profile